Archive for May, 2009
From: Yale University – Health & Medicine
New Haven, Conn. — Superior intelligence is no defense against the effects of attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder, Yale researchers have found.
About three of four ADHD individuals with an IQ of more than 120 – a score that ranks them in the top nine percent of the U.S. population – showed significant impairments in memory and cognitive tests when compared to people with similar IQ’s who do not suffer from the disorder, according to the researchers.
The report, to be published in the September print edition of the Journal of Attention Disorders, is now available online: http://jad.sagepub.com/pap.dtl
Sometimes I heard (especially at work), “You can’t do this? But I thought you were smart.” It was awful in school to get bad grades because I just couldn’t focus long enough to be productive. The world was a fog partly due to defending myself from too much input. Occasionally I would experience moments of clarity. I remember them clearly.
So a mix of inattention and a lack of willingness to ask for help lead to general slowness at learning. So when I was called a slow learner by someone, I tended to agree with it. The ADHD and autism are meshed together tightly, as well.
Here is a picture of kittens:
I Stumbled Upon this YouTube video and wondered if it could be accurate. I was sceptical that’s for sure. So I watched it. The sound sensitivity part was very much like it can be for me. The people all up right in front of the man’s face. I know what that is like. They left out smell, though! A smelly bus can ruin everything.
But despite the potential for an overwhelming time, I really like public transport.
What I would like to see is a video of an autistic person going grocery shopping. If anyone wants some footage of this, I can provide lots of it. 
The look on the face of the man left sitting on the bus made me laugh!
“A4 LOCKS OUT AUTISTIC MEMBERS
STATEMENT CONCERNING A4 – AUTISM ASPERGER ADVOCACY AUSTRALIA
ASAN AUSTRALIA understands from its members that as of today all Autistic members have been exclude from the Steering Committee of A4 (Autism Asperger Advocacy Australia) which has now been renamed the A4 Advisory Group. Convener of the A4 Advisory Group Bob Buckley states in an email to all A4 members:
“A majority group decided to separate itself from a minority dissenting group (formerly in A4 SC) who do not accept and object to long-standing polices and practices of the A4 SC.”
This minority dissenting group just happens to contain all of the people with a diagnosed Autism Spectrum Disorder that sat on the A4 Steering Committee up until 18/5/09. This minority group has long been battling to be part of the national voice that is A4 and now finds themselves excluded from the very group that once claimed to represent them.
ASAN AUSTRALIA finds this situation unacceptable, reprehensible in fact. We suggest that in light of this move A4 not be seen as a legitimate voice for those on the autism spectrum. Nothing about us without us.”
Australian Autism Group block autistics
Isn’t that weird. To have a group for and about autistic people, but with no autistic people in it. Makes no sense!
The end of semester one is close. After this week all I have is exams left.
I got an email about exams that I wasn’t expecting. I know my exam papers are going to be grey (white gives me a headache if I look at it for a long time). But what I didn’t expect was for my exams to be in a different room to everyone else. There will only be a few other people having their exams in the same room as me. So there will be minimal distractions.
University Equity must have notified the exams office about this. I am grateful. I was wondering how I would handle sitting in the gym (which is the biggest space in the uni) with hundreds of other students trying to concentrate.
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In other news…
I got a Credit for my Psychology essay. I don’t know whether to be sad or glad! I also handed in my essay about quantum mechanics yesterday afternoon. Recently I have thought if someone treats me as if I am simple (which does happen), I will start talking about quantum mechanics. I know a fair bit about it now. 
Also…I have tried a search for my blog using Google. No result. I guess this blog is so new that Google hasn’t found it yet.
I do receive a Disability Support Pension.
When I was younger, I used to get so frustrated at myself because I couldn’t do things the way I wanted. I wanted to blend in with others and appear “normal”. I wanted to be …anonymous? To observe how others were without drawing attention to myself. So I knew I was different. I didn’t know what it was, what I was doing wrong, or how to fix things. As a teenager, I hated myself. I wanted so much to be someone else, anyone but me. I used to hit my head against the wall as punishment, tire myself out doing this so I could go to sleep without thinking too much. In hindsight, I know that this was deep depression but back then I didn’t know how to name my feelings.
I have been asked, “Why didn’t you receive services when you were in school?” The reason for this: I started school in 1983 and finished in 1994/5. I finished school around the time that the DSM-IV was released. I did an environmental course as soon as I left school and realised I had trouble relating to all kinds of people, not just the others at school. Bullying at the adult level! I fantasised that some of the people in my course would meet a grisly, violent death. At end of this six month course I was barely verbal and full of rage.
I managed to get a job at a fast-food restaurant but only lasted three weeks – let go because I was not a “people person” and lacked a “cheerful disposition”. It was hard to be cheerful when I found speaking to customers was one thing, appearing cheerful was another, combining the two would be asking for something more than I could give at the time.
Then I started work at a mushroom farm. I was able to get that job because I was interviewed at the same time as my sister, she helped me. So I worked there for 9 years, too scared to go anywhere else because of the process of looking and applying for more jobs. I also hated being “the new person”. I had experienced this in school.
During this time I became aware of what I needed to “shelter” myself. Routines for everything – from getting ready for work to doing my weekly shopping. Only one thing would be planned if I were to go out – anymore than that and I would feel odd. I lived alone and it was how I preferred to be. I became aware of this, though, my isolation, lack of friends, lack of ability to sustain a relationship, saying no to social outings, etc. I became aware that this was not “normal”. I felt broken and lacked the knowledge to be able to do something about it.
I was diagnosed shortly after this realisation. I was on my way to regressing. I felt like such a mental case. Couldn’t work anymore, had to sell my flat, had to be supported by my family full-time.
I believe that I am recovering from that stage in my life. I know now that I have to look after myself in a way, to not burn out. To not break the way I did before. And for that, I need support.
Am I disabled? Yes. I have also gained abilities.
I have had a few people disagree that I should call myself “autistic”. Yes, I am a person first. But my autism doesn’t come second. It prefers to be with me at all times.
Hmm, another way I could put it is that I am a person with asthma. This would be right and if someone said I was an asthmatic, I would be ok with it. But if I suddenly didn’t have asthma anymore, I would still be me (with a little more money that I didn’t spend on asthma medication – and I would be able to SCUBA dive as well with no restrictions). My asthma doesn’t define me, it isn’t part of my personality.
So if a person with asthma, a person with epilepsy, a person with diabetes, etc. were cured of their conditions, they would probably be a lot happier and essentially be the same person with the same personality and the same friends and all that.
If I didn’t have autism anymore….I don’t know who I would be. That is a scary thought, really. I don’t know if I would like the same things, read the same books, even be married to my husband, have the same relationships with my family. What would I be doing without autism? I could be leading a completely different life.
I know some anti-cure views are that we should be proud of who we are, we don’t need a cure, etc. But if I was offered a cure (less sensory issues would be a relief), I would be scared. Because if I took the cure there would be no turning back and who knows how I would turn out on the other end? It is more of a personal issue for me and I believe that it should be for all autistic people – they should decide for themselves rather than tell others what they should do.
If someone calls me a “person with autism”. I am fine with that. But I will call myself “autistic”. I will explain why (if I can) when asked about it.
Autism is with me, it is a part of me, it is me.
Nuisance that it is sometimes.
At uni….
**Why is it that when some lecturers set up their powerpoints, it is as though they have never seen this technology before and they have to get students to help set it up?
**Why is it that Mac users at uni have to tell everyone that they use a Mac? So what? They are computers. Computers are very common at university.
**Why is it that wherever there are whiteboards, there are always permanent markers nearby for people to use?
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I know how to get permanent marker off a whiteboard, btw. 
I will add more questions when I think of them.
This is my new blog, complete with new theme. I could have restored the old theme but I felt like a change. I am ok with change as long as I am in charge of it.
