Infinite Diversities

My friend sent me these thoughts via email. I think she found them somewhere else. I shall add some of my thoughts to them…
More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
Sometimes I don’t even wait for them to finish. I just interrupt. Or start to daydream.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
It is even worse when the other person never forgets it and keeps bringing it up at awkward times.

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
I have turned 180 before and walked smack into someone. So maybe stopping is a good idea.

I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
Indeed. If only I knew.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.
Haha, I have seen someone do this once.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America (and Australia) did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.
This makes me feel old. But I do remember this. The adults were always busy so we figured things out ourselves.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.
Especially on autism forums.

Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.
But if I liked it when I was younger then it makes it better if I like it all over again.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.
I know this will happen when the new Star Trek dvd comes out. I will have to watch it alone.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
Do two general folds and then roll it up. Or scrunch it up into a ball and shove in under something else in the linen cupboard. At the back where no one can see it.

I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
And hope that none of your family or employers search your name on the internet.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
I do not do this! I don’t like texting much. Or mobile phones in general.

Was learning cursive really necessary?
I have not used it since high school. I write a lot at uni but it is all printing. Very messy printing.

Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
“Indeed” and “Acknowledged” always work.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
So I eat when I am bored.

Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
So what is street smart? Smart on the street?

How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
This can get embarrassing, especially in class.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
What happened to maps? I have known someone to use something like MapQuest when they only needed to make three turns. I really wanted to say how stupid they were but I didn’t. They were driving me somewhere.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
Even better, have it written on the grave. It would make cemeteries even more interesting.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
People do this? Why??

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
My husband would heartily agree.

I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories.

Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
I don’t use Facebook but it can be really good for an in-depth stickybeaking.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….
I have this weird thing where I feel really strange saying my own name. It just feels odd and it always has.

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
Except to devise the best way to not do anything productive.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
It was enough of a pain when they replaced videos.

I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
Yes, it makes me want go back through the document to see if I did change anything without remembering I did it.

“Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.
My dressing gown is like this. I have worn it since I got it but I am scared it will just fall apart if I do anything to it. It is irrational, I know.

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
Or going out looking and feeling rotten and seeing everyone I know.

Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
I would rather look at my watch than at other people, though.

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
I also wonder if they feel satisfied when the see people slamming on the brakes when going past a speed camera.

Ah, that was fun.